Even When It Hurts Like Hell

I think back on the pain we endured in March with our false-positive pregnancy test and I was in such a survival mode at the time that I didn’t give our pain justice… I had to grieve fast then get ready for the next round of treatments that same week. I mean we flipping did a four-hour pregnancy photoshoot so we could have an announcement picture to share (thankfully that was free- thanks Ken!),  we held my womb with expectation only to find later it was empty all along, my sister-in-law bought us red baby converse, Allan wrote me the sweetest card about me being a hot preggo, we dreamed, we cried, we planned… then BOOM “NOT PREGNANT”- that hurt like HELL. And I feel deeply for my TTC sisters who have been through worse hurts. We went to a Hillsong United concert a few weeks ago and were introduced to this song (cue major ugly cry):

These lyrics penetrated the most:

Take this mountain weight
Take these ocean tears
Hold me through the trial
Come like hope again

Even when the fight seems lost
I’ll praise You
Even when it hurts like hell
I’ll praise You
Even when it makes no sense to sing
Louder then I’ll sing Your praise…

 And I will sing till the miracle comes…

Despite thoroughly enjoying our “only the two of us” time; that pain is still real. And though time in between, the memory still brings aches and tears. So I hope you can find some comfort through your pain in this song as well.

As a side note, when Allan was at the eye doctor (go figure!), the doctor told him about a friend of his that was trying to conceive (mind you Allan didn’t mention anything about us trying) and said that they did the “pineapple diet” and it worked for them the first month after like 7 years of trying everything else. So Allan was really excited about it- however, my throat gets burned when I eat pineapple so perhaps bromelain will do the trick- worth a shot; can’t say no to Allan! 💗 Have you ever heard of the pineapple diet? If so, what have you heard? What days? How much? …since I haven’t been tracking my cycle this will be interesting! I’ll keep you posted…

6 thoughts on “Even When It Hurts Like Hell

  1. I’m sorry you guys had 2 big hurts in a row this year. It sucks, the things we have to go through. I’ve not heard of the pineapple diet, per se, but I have heard people say that pineapple is good for fertility. It’s supposed to help for one specific part of the TTC journey, I just don’t remember off the top of my head. I’m sure some Googling would get some answers, but I’m feeling lazy at the moment, lol!
    How have you been doing lately? I miss your posts and seeing what’s going on with your life! I feel like we were both on the same cycles, now we are both on hold. I hope you’re both plugging along well and finding happiness! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you love! Yes, those difficult times suck majorly! It’s funny the info I find is very conflicting as far as when to use pineapple in the cycle.
      I know I’m sorry I’ve been MIA. I find I’m able to not obsess over every failed month when I use social media less (I log in every once in a while to get an update on you though!)- but I’ve been good! Things at work are very busy right now so there are quite a bit of distractions. We got away for Labor Day weekend just to some parks- but it was a nice change of pace! We have another long weekend scheduled in November… Those stinkin treatments used up our annual big vacation fund! lol But we have two big trips in the works for 2016! 😁 How are you doing? Your house has come along beautifully!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m doing ok. I have 2 months left before we can do the testing for the blood clots, then hopefully we can get back to TTC stuff right away. The waiting just sucks so much! It’s like a train barreling forward at full speed that hits a brick wall and comes to a sudden stop…it takes a while to shift your mindset and wrap your head around things. Plus now I’m going through a desperate want to make a career change, so I still have my stressors lol! But overall things are ok. Meeting a friend for lunch and shopping today, so that should help! And thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Ohhhh there was some major ugly crying here with that song – thank you for sharing though 🙂

    Pineapple is terrible for my gut, I think even if I tried it for a day Chris wouldn’t want to come near me!! Wait… I forgot, we are doing IVF, he doesn’t need to come near me!!

    In the name of baby making maybe it’s worth a try!!

    Liked by 1 person

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