Hurt But Not Hopeless…

 Well, we went out swinging in Round 3 but, like Pacquiao, we had a devastating defeat (and unfortunately we didn’t walk away with millions of dollars at the end of the fight). So as our last (and final-for-now) month of IUI treatments ends with yet ANOTHER negative, we are bummed, frustrated, and disappointed. …And it stings even stronger and deeper with Mother’s Day just a few days away- another Mother’s Day with an empty womb and empty arms. A friend sent me this post from blogger Amy Young titled “An open letter to pastors {A non-mom speaks about Mother’s Day}”. This post really resonated with me and I hope it does with you as well- regardless if you’re a mom or not you can gain some insight.

Well, we had our minds made up before even meeting with our doctor today. We decided to take a break from treatments for a while- our doctor agreed that it’s a good idea. My body (which is not used to medicines) has been on countless medications and hormones since October. So I’m stopping my pituitary tumor treatment since my numbers are good now (I’ll follow up with more blood work in 6 weeks to make sure it hasn’t returned). And I’m detoxing my body of all the added stress as well. We are really looking forward to our upcoming vacation to North Carolina, St. Augustine, and Savannah. And the bright side is that I will be able to hike, bike, and climb without restrictions. I am also looking forward to working out together again since I haven’t been allowed to work out for 3 months! And we’re looking forward to stress-free time together. I don’t plan on tracking my cycles, filling in any charts, or lying down with my hips and legs in the air.

Let me be clear: We’re definitely not giving up. We are very hopeful. We have peace knowing that we were supposed to go through these IUIs. We don’t have any regrets… we don’t know “why” now since it appears that we lost more than we gained but our Father sees the bigger picture. So we move forward with the same faith, knowing that one day I too will be celebrating Mother’s Day.

Psalms 37:23 >> The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.

Provers 16:9 >> The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Isaiah 41:10 >> Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you. I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

13 thoughts on “Hurt But Not Hopeless…

  1. I am so sorry hun! But can I just say that your attitude? Your outlook? Your faith? And hope? Is so inspirational! You are such an amazing person! And I have no doubt that God will fulfill the desires He has placed in your heart. Xo

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  2. Sorry it didn’t work out for you this this time. It’s a great idea to take a break and lift some of the stress off you both. Going back to the more relaxed method really does take the pressure off, we’re gearing up to try again after taking a 6 month break and it’s been nice not having to worry about doing all the temping and checking CP/CM etc…. Chin up 🙂 xx

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  3. Hope is an amazingly powerful thing I believe.
    I had hoped this was my cycle too. I had grand plans of a positive pregnancy I could take a photo of, print out and give to Mum in her card. Instead I woke up to AF and painful cramps. She is a nasty thing with bad timing 🙂

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