To fully understand the title of this post, I must review the past two weeks with you:
-We had our first IUI (Intrauterine Insemination): It went fantastically! (See post here.)
-I had cramping for a day and a half (great sign from a medical perspective). This commonly means implantation is occurring.
-We knew this was our month!
-I took an early pregnancy test knowing there was a great possibility it would be negative because it was so early but I assured myself, regardless what the result said, I knew I was pregnant. As I was getting ready to throw it out, I saw a faint second line that kept getting darker and darker- it was POSITIVE!! For the first time in 4 years I saw a second line! I surprised Allan with the test and wore a GoPro so I could capture his reaction- it was emotional, priceless and everything I had envisioned. We then told our families and they celebrated and prayed with us. We took another pregnancy test the next day: POSITIVE! And another test two days later: POSITIVE! We couldn’t believe it, our time had FINALLY come! We decided not to test anymore and kept living in belief and praising God for this miracle.
-I started getting evening/morning sickness and began sleeping with saltines and gingins by my side.
-The “Two Week Wait” was finally coming to an end and we couldn’t wait to share the news with all of you! I went out and bought 5 different types of pregnancy tests…I wanted kind of like a grand finale at a fireworks show. My heart raced as I tried to sleep knowing in the morning we would receive confirmation. That morning we both woke up early, I collected my “sample” in a cup and we began to test. We were so excited and we couldn’t wait to see the digital test that would read in plain English “Pregnant”. We waited for what seemed like forever and then “NOT PREGNANT” popped up, and another test read “NO-“, and then one by one the other three just had one line. We stood in shock and without a word for at least five minutes. Finally, we grabbed each other by the hand and just said “I don’t understand.”
All of these questions raced in my head and I needed answers. The doctor’s office wasn’t opened yet so I took to Dr. Google. What I found shocked me even more and made me angry that I didn’t know this information before. The shot of Ovidrel I had to give myself to induce super ovulation (see post here) was HCG (I was not aware of this since I received all of my medications from a compound pharmacy and they don’t include pamphlets of information with the medicines). HCG shots give false positive pregnancy tests that could last for about 11 days in one’s system. Also, the Progesterone suppositories I was taking twice a day makes your body feel and act as if it is pregnant- hence the sickness and tiredness. Furthermore, Progesterone can delay your period. Once you stop taking it, your period should appear within 36 hours. I wasn’t aware of any of this! All of the research I had done in the past 4 years had not prepared me for this moment.
Finally, my doctor’s office opened and my nurse called me (all the nurses are great here). She had me go in for a blood test just to make sure I wasn’t pregnant since I hadn’t gotten my period yet. While we were there, I made it known that it would’ve been beneficial to know the warning signs beforehand since this was our first time using the medications and going through this process. We are still dealing with these feelings of disappointment. It was like the worst mind game was played on us. Through this time we remind ourselves to focus on truth and to focus on His promises. Childbearing was HIS idea; HE gave us that desire; He APPOINTed us to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). I know this isn’t the end of our journey. I know our story doesn’t end like this. I know His plans are greater. I know He comforts us through times like these so we can comfort others when they go through similar circumstances (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). We’re just SO ready for our [real] BIG FAT POSITIVE pregnancy test.
Thank you all for believing and praying with us. It really does make a huge difference to know that we’re not alone. And when our faith begins to weaken, your strength and belief helps rejuvenate us. Just as we have been appointed to this journey, you have been appointed to us as our support and encouragement.